Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Etiquette

Question for you folks:

As you know, i'm getting hitched next year (yay!).


My sister who's the maid of honour wants me to send her a list of people i would like to be invited to my bachelorette party.


My problem is....can i invite people to my bachelorette party if they're not invited to the wedding?


My first initial answer is no. It's rude to invite someone to one part of the wedding and not to the wedding itself. right?


But then i started thinking, and now i'm wondering if it's ok to invite them to one and not the other.
here's why:


  1. We're trying to keep our guest numbers down as much as possible and i think most people can understand that
  2. The bachelorette party isn't a cash or gift grab. It's a night out to drink and get silly with a bunch of girls
  3. The bachelorette party is going to be in Vegas, so if someone wants to go, why not
  4. It's not like me getting married is a secret so if they're not invited to the wedding they're still going to know about it anyway
  5. I don't think i would be offended if i wasn't invited to a not-so-close-friend's wedding but someone invited me to their bachelorette party



What do you think? How would you feel if you were invited to an acquaintance's bachelorette party and not her wedding (keep in mind that obviously all close friends and family are invited to the wedding)

8 comments:

Sarah G. said...

Ah...the joy of wedding planning. If it makes you feel any better I got engaged in June and my wedding was September (talk about stress). :-) I'd say that you could invite them to your bachelorette party, but I could be totally wrong. It's not like you're inviting them to your shower or something, and they don't really have to buy you a gift for a Bachelorette party do they?? I'd also just explain to them that your wedding is going to be fairly small (family and close friends - even if that's not entirely the truth as long as they won't find out) and you're on a budget so you can't invite everyone that you'd like to, to the wedding.

Chris said...

I think Sarah is right, but you know everyone best. If you know they aren't the type to be offended, then invite them!

I'm not really big on 'socially proper and acceptable' behavior. Whatever works best for you and makes your day and party for fun is all that you should care about. It is, after all, about you!

Lara said...

I don't think there's anything wrong with inviting people to the bachelorette who weren't invited to the wedding. Not to the shower, because that seems wrong, but for a night out of partying - no worries.

Jennie Thomason said...

This is tough. My first instinct is to say you're the bride! Do what you want! That's your right!

Buuut, if it's an out-of-town party, in Vegas (great pick, by the way!), wouldn't you want it to be just your tight group of girlfriends? Now, if you're inviting a friend of a friend because you want your friend to have them there or something of the sort, I'm sure they'd understand (actually a girl came to my bachelorette party with a close girlfriend of mine, but she wasn't invited, just totally welcomed to join in the fun). If you're sending out invites though, I think (and ultimately what I think is of little importance, ha) they should go to people you're also inviting to the big day.

Ms. Porter said...

I'm with Jennie.

Unless it's someone who is more or less tagging along with a friend of yours (like an aquaintance you know through a friend who is coming to the wedding) then I wouldn't invite people who aren't on your wedding list. That said, there's nothing wrong with letting the word out that others are welcome to come along...it's the 'invitation' that I would stay away from.

Roz said...

thanks guys! :)

SC said...

Tough one. Think of it as just as party - and invite as many people as you want. I say, the more the merrier... one thing I think it's important to keep in mind for the party planner, is that if everyone coming isn't involved in the wedding, then there shouldn't be a lot of references to wedding events, etc - while at the party... it usually just highlights the fact that others aren't involved or its a bit awkward for those not attending. Other than that... if some of your non-attending wedding peeps, are past brides, I am sure they will totally understand your dilemnia... as they've been their before!

Good luck... whatever you do, just remember the goal is to have fun, and be with your friends!!

jeradriano said...

hi. I think it's totally fine if you invite people to your bachelorette party that are not invited to the wedding. You can always say your wedding will be small and you are using the BP as a way to bond with your lady friends in a more relaxed and loose environment! Congratulations on your wedding!!!!