Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Hard(decision)wood flooring

Mat and I are ready to put down hardwood floors on the main level of our house, but we (I’m) having a really tough time deciding what to put down.

I love the look of dark floors, but there are a couple of reasons why we don’t want to put them down:

• Everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) has said dark-stained floors are a pain in the ass to keep clean. Dust and foot prints are never-ending. Not to mention we have not one, but TWO white dogs (extra paw prints, extra dirt and EXTRA white fur)

• Scratches are easier to see especially if the scratch is deep and takes off the stain (see 2 dogs above)

• Dark wood is so popular right now and I’m worried that it will be the dated honey-coloured floors you see today…I wonder if I like it so much because it’s so trendy - ?

Of course we have a budget (not big, but comfortable) and we found a great place that carries “leftovers” if you will, which means what they have is what you get. No ordering and if you wait too long to decide, there’s a good chance it will be scooped up.

Mat and I don’t like a lot of things: We don’t like “colours” so nothing with a red tone to it, or anything too yellow. We don’t want a bowling alley either…

Again we like the look of dark, but not the high-maintenance of it. We like “different” like tiger wood ($$$, hahaha ya right) and wood with character.

Last night we found this:




It’s hickory which is extremely durable (quite a bit harder than maple). It’s got character and I’m pretty sure that dirt, scratches etc. aren’t going to show up.

Not to mention that this particular one we found is solid (not engineered) and is 3 ¼” wide – both of which usually add a lot of cost per square foot but is within our budget because of this warehouse.

I really really like the look of this, but I’m really concerned that it will look “country”.

I’ve scoured the internet and found pics that support that it will look country, and other pics that show that it can look very – modern – if you will.

Here are the pics that confirm the flooring looks country:

And here are the pics that show it can look warm but modern:


And here are some (really) dated pics of our house, but it gives you an idea, anyway:



(this picture was from the listing when we bought the house - we now have stainless steel appliances and much nicer stainless steel light fixtures)





wall colour is now a bit lighter (still grey) tile will not change (kind of a burgundy)



Thoughts? Thoughts?? Thoughts???

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Bell's *famous* customer service

Hmm, 2 "customer service" posts in a row...

Well as everyone knows, Bell is known for their horrible customer service.

I've been a victim in the past of Bell's customer "service", but in recent years, i haven't had any issues with them. In fact, i would even go so far as defending Bell when someone else would complain about them and telling them about my great experience with Bell finding discounts for me and whatnot.

Well, today my friends, that has come to an end, and i am back on the Bell-Bad-Customer-Service Bandwagon.

Here's the story: I wanted to upgrade our TV service so that we could get HBO. I went online and found a package that allowed us to get HBO for only $5 more a month then what we are paying now. I had one question i needed clarified, so when the "online chat help" window popped up asking if i had any questions, i started to chat:

Rosalind: I was looking at the "HD Extra" package and it says you get "choice of one premium movies pack (free for 2 months)". If the package is $75/month, how much is it after the first 2 months?

Peter: Hello and welcome to Bell's chat service. How may I provide you with excellent service today?

Peter: I will be happy to assist you.

Peter: May I have please have your first and the last name?

Rosalind: (gave him my name)

Peter: May I call you by your first name?

Rosalind: yes

Peter: Thank you, Rosalind.

Peter: I wish I could help you. Since you have reached the Bell Home Phone billing department, I do not have access to Bell TV accounts.

Peter: Unfortunately, I am not able to assist you with your request. However, I will transfer you to one of our online Bell TV agents who will be happy to assist you with that.

Peter: Rosalind, please stay online.

Rosalind: k thanks

Peter: You're welcome!

Please wait. We are transferring you to the specialist best suited to help you.
Chat representative Johanne has joined the session and is ready to help. To start, please provide your name and home phone number.

Rosalind (gave my name - again - and phone number)

Rosalind: I was looking at the "HD Extra" package and it says you get "choice of one premium movies pack (free for 2 months)". If the package is $75/month, how much is it after the first 2 months?

Johanne: Hi, welcome to Bell TV Chat! It will be a pleasure to help you out with your request today concerning our programming.

Johanne: The price and package you see online is for new customers with a 2 year contract.

Rosalind: Is there anything similar you can offer for existing clients?

Johanne: First, is your 2 year contract over with us?

Rosalind: i don't know - i've had bell tv since about 3 years

Johanne: I will verify.

Johanne: I will then access your account and I will need your Pin number, please.

Rosalind: xxxxxxxxxx

Johanne: Thank you, one moment please.

Johanne: Thank you for waiting.

Rosalind: ok

Johanne: Your 2 year contract ended in July/09.

Rosalind: ok, what are my options?

Johanne: You might be eligible. We also have offers for our existing customers. You may go to: www.bell.ca/renewnow and you have to be logged in to your profile to see them.

Rosalind: it says "sorry you're not eligible for a term renewal off at this time".

Rosalind: *offer

Johanne: Then, I would wait a couple of months, and see what it says.

Rosalind: that's ridiculous - if my contract expired in july, why can't i access any offers???

**waited for about 5 minutes**

Rosalind: hello?

***waited for about another 2 minutes***

Johanne: If it not ridiculous, you just terminated your contract 3 months ago. What I was saying, is to try again, beginning of 2010. If not, call our call center and speak with our Loyalty dept., at: 1-888-759-3474.

Rosalind: do you have an employee number?

Johanne: If you want a reference, use my name: Johanne, Techical services.

Rosalind: thank you - if you could have your supervisor contact me, it would be greatly appreciated

Johanne: To speak with a supervisor, you have to call our call center.

Johanne: Is there anything for you today?

Rosalind: it doesn't seem like you're able to help me

Johanne: No, sorry you have here the Technical services. The loyalty dept. will.

Rosalind: is the loyalty dept. on chat?

Johanne: No, sorry.

-End of chat-


Wow! what a HUGE waste of my time.

Their idea of "helping" me or "servicing" me is telling me to check out their promotions on their website - gee, thanks.

Then, when i told her that the website was saying i wasn't eligible, she told me to try back in a couple of months...HELLO - i want new programming and savings NOW!!

THEN - she has the audacity to ARGUE with me "It is not ridiculous"....Ok, well i think it is and I'm the customer. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO HELP ME???!!

Then, she tells basically tells me that it's not her fault because she's "technical services" and that i need to speak with "loyalty services". Thanks - why didn't you tell me this before you wasted my time??

Gah - i'm always amazed that there is so much effort to gain new customers, but when you're an existing customer, you're worthless.

Hey BELL - now that my contract is "supposedly" over, i might just try ROGERS. Hey, if it doesn't work out with them, i can always come back as a "new" client, right??

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

holy bad customer service!

So...i needed to get my kitchen knives sharpened and so i googled "knife sharpening ottawa".

Very few listings came up. Actually 2 listings came up. I went to both of their websites and didn't know how to "choose" a knife sharpening place so i decided to get in touch with the one with the (very slightly) nicer website.

It said to please call or email to make an appointment so i did:

Friday, Sept 11

Hi there, I have a few kitchen knifes I would like to get sharpened and I was wondering when I might be able to drop them off. Many thanks, Rosalind.

*****

Saturday, Sept 12

Hello Rosalind,

You can drop them off Monday to Saturday, between 9:30 am. and 5 pm, and available for pick up the next day.

Cheers


*****

On Monday i made a trip to drop off the knives. I didn't realize that it shared the same location as a dog groomer we used once before and received not only THE WORST doggie hair cut ever but also encountered the grouchiest woman ever (over the phone and in person). I thought it was odd, but i went in to drop off the knives anyway. I received the worst service AGAIN and so i wrote to the guy i had been dealing with to get my knives sharpened:

Hi Again,

Just wanted to let you know that I stopped by today to drop off the knives and one of the women working there told me that you wouldn't be able to sharpen them until next week or later because a) you were renovating b) the machine wasn't out and c) you were then going away to the states - ?? I have to say that I'm a bit put off because in your email you said I could drop them off and they would be ready the next day. Not to mention I had to make a special trip out there for nothing. I told the woman that I would have to take them somwhere else because I couldn't go without them for over a week and she didn't seem to care... Anyway, just wanted to let you know what happened and unfortunately I'll be going elsewhere to get the knives sharpened. Rosalind.

******
Hello Rosalind,

Sorry to hear about your troubles. But, I didn't know you were coming, as you didn't confirm. I had other work to attend too. Had I known your plans, I would of definetly made arrangements with my wife. So we went ahead with our plans and preparing for the States this weekend, packing & getting passports. Always busy.

I hope you understand, and if you give me another chance, I'll give you 40% off. Note, I won't be back until next Tuesday.

Regards



******

Are you kidding me?? He told me on SATURDAY that i could drop off the knives from Monday to Saturday, so i dropped them off on MONDAY and that was a problem because i didn't CONFIRM with him?? what the hell?

I've never encountered such a complicated system for such a simple service.

Yesterday i took my knives to the second person i found on my google search (didn't bother calling or emailing) and guess what ?? He was incredibly pleasant, and sharpened my knives WHILE I WAITED. I had 5 knives sharpened for a meesly $11.

I want to respond to the first guy, but i'm not entirely sure what to say (i want to say what i've said here, but really not in the mood for a fight). I just feel like he should know the horrible service he's offering and the great service people can find elsewhere....

If anyone wants to know where they SHOULD and shouldn't take their knives to be sharpened, just let me know.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

A few words about wedding etiquette

Those of you who know me, know that i'm a bit of a wedding expert.

What exactly qualifies me as a wedding expert? Well for starters, after i completed my university degree, i went on to do a post-grad diploma in event management where i focused on weddings, and my entire professional career has been planning events.

Not enough to be an expert? Ok, well i've also planned many weddings including my own.

Still not enough to consider me as a wedding expert? Would you care to know that i own every 'Martha Stewart Weddings' magazine that was published in the last 11 years (approximately 44 issues)? I also read countless blogs dedicated to weddings and wedding planning on a daily basis. I also own Emily Post's book on etiquette and have practically memorized the section on weddings and engagements.

Yeah...i know just a thing or two about weddings...

This year is the Year of the Weddings for me. I have been invited to six (!!) weddings this year. Unfortunately, i can *only* make it to 4.

With all of these upcoming weddings, a bunch of my pet peeves have been stirred up again. I don't blame the engaged couple, as i'm sure they just didn't know (hey! that's what i'm here for! ask me - i'd be glad to impart my knowledge on you!!), but still, there are a few things which are just plain manners people.

If you've sent me a wedding invitation, and i've written about something you did, don't take it personally, because it wasn't just you - it's happened many times and is a common "mistake"

In bullet format, i give you some common wedding faux pas!
  • DON'T put your registry information anywhere on the invitation. Don't even put it with the invitation. To be blunt, this is just plain rude. If someone wants to know if/where you're registered, they'll ask you at which point feel free to tell them all the places you've registered! The polite way to spread the word is to tell your close family members (parents, siblings) and bridal party. That way if one of your parent's friends wants to know for example, they just have to ask them. Your bridal party can even spread the news to your mutual friends and so on. I know all those places you registered for gave you a stack of cards for you to include in your invitations, but they don't care how you come across to other people - all they care about is people BUYING stuff. The same goes for shower invitations. Tell whoever is throwing you a shower not to include those awful cards. In fact, don't even GIVE them the cards.

  • That second envelope that came with your invitation set? It's not for mailing the reply card. It's called an "inner envelope" and IT is what the invitation goes into. The inner envelope only has the recipients' names on it - not the address, whereas the outside envelope is for the mailing address and the stamp and keeps the inner envelope from getting dirty. Don't believe me that that's what the the "second" envelope is for? I'll prove it - it doesn't have glue on the flap, so you can't use it for mailing. It's amazing the similarity of the invitations i've received this year. 2 of them have had detachable, ready to mail reply cards with the return address already printed on it. Then there was an empty envelope also printed with the return address (and stamped). The reply card is a standard postcard size and does not require an envelope.

  • DON'T use nicknames when addressing invitations - even if they're your friends. It just doesn't look nice. It can also come across as you not being sure what the person's real name is or how to spell it properly. Mat and i have received many invitations over the years where they've put "Roz" or "Mat" on the invitation (sometimes not even the person's last name!!). My name is Rosalind and Mat's name is Mathew. Most people like to get mail addressed properly to them. Again, if you aren't sure, ask someone. It's better to discreetly ask your friend how to spell her husband's name rather than guess or use his nick-name

And a couple of my personal pet peeves that aren't "rules" by any means:

  • Get rid of the head table, or at least let your bridal party have their significant other sit with them. When you're the date/spouse of a bridesmaid or groomsman, and you don't know anyone other than the happy couple and your spouse, it sucks to have to sit at a table with strangers for the whole night. Don't tell me that they'll get to move around after dinner - it still sucks.

  • Don't plan (or try to plan) your own shower/bachelorette. 'Nuf said

  • Don't hold your wedding on a weekday or a holiday. Long weekends are ok, holiday weekends, not ok. Everyone has families and for most families, official holidays are the only times they can see each other. By having your wedding on a holiday (or holiday weekend) you are taking away an opportunity for families to see each other. Yes. I know it's cheaper if you have your wedding on a weekday or holiday (= more convenient for you), but you should really be considerate of your guests.

  • DO lighten up on the matchy-matchy bridesmaids dresses. I'm still boggled that people think everyone wearing the exact same dress in the exact same colour, even the exact same length actually looks good. Everyone is a different body type and for the most part, not one dress will look good on everyone. Give your bridesmaids some freedom and let them at least choose their own style of dress. Regardless of what you might think, there's a 99% chance they aren't going to wear it again.

  • Last but not least, don' t be a bridezilla

That's it for now, i'm sure as more invitations arrive, it'll stir up a few more pet peeves.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Not everything is black and white (but this time it is!)

Ok, i didn't realize it had been THAT long since the last time i wrote. *Sowwy*!

hmm, let's see...what have i been up to lately?

Well for starters, it was damn busy at work last month. Don't get me started, but i was all "HOLY HELL I CAN'T SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL!".

Of course, i made it through alive, and have added a few more battle scars to my collection.

I've also been deep into the Twilight Saga (be still my heart) and i'm almost done the last book. Most of my free time has been (happily) occupied with this.

Of course i still spend a lot of time puttering around the house.

Just a few weeks ago, i decided to paint the bannisters in my house. Here's some pics of what it looked like before i started:




And then as i started to paint:



Here's an *almost* finished pic. I later painted the 2 end posts black.


So as i was finishing up the LAST COAT of black paint on the upstairs handrail, i DROPPED the can of paint.

Did you notice the colour of my carpet? It's white.

Yes, i dropped a can of BLACK PAINT down my staris.


My WHITE. CARPET. stairs.

I sat there in shock for a few minutes. Not believing what just happened and not sure what to do about it either. I finally stood up and ran to the kitchen (because of course, i too was covered in black paint) and grabbed armloads of paper towel. I tried to wipe the paint off my legs but i just pushed it around and made a bigger mess. I all but climbed into the kitchen sink to get the paint off my legs which by this time had a burning sensation - grrrreat!

I still didn't know exactly what to do, so i went outside to where Mat was vaccuming my car. I tried not to make eye contact with him as i stuttered something about him needing to go back and rent the steam cleaner again.


Pardon? Oh, did i forget to mention that Mat had just steam-cleaned the carpets the DAY BEFORE?


Well HA HA wouldn't you know it that his wife decided to spill paint on the stairs after instead of before he cleaned them.


Anyway, he asked me why and i said "there's no time to explain, just go". He didn't bite and asked "what happened?"

"i spilled paint" i replied in the smallest voice ever

"where?" Mat asked

by this point, Mat had started to walk towards the house with me walking backwards in front of him.

"on the stairs! Please don't go in there!!" i pleaded. "IT'S EVERYWHERE" i excalimed as i burst into tears.

But he wouldn't listen and opened the door to the house and saw the carnage.

"You have got to be kidding me" was all he said.

i just looked at the floor.

"well, the carpet is ruined. we'll need to replace it" he said.

Now, although i was upset about spilling paint everywhere, the thought of getting new carpets cheered me up a bit. I have wanted new carpets since we moved in, but didn't want to spend the dough. I still really didn't want to spend the money, but at least i'd have pretty new carpets!

Mat went upstairs (i thought he was mad and couldn't stand to be around me and the mess) so i started to try and mop of the mess with some more paper towels. It made things worse because apparently paper towels will absorb anything BUT PAINT. ugh.

Mat came back downstairs and like a doctor to a nurse started to make demands.

"ok, we need the shop vac, a bucket of water and some vinegar. You get the water, and i'll get the shop vac".

I stared at him blankly because i didn't know what he was thinking

"i looked it up on google and apparently this is how you get paint out of carpet" he explained.

i did as i was told and we started diluting the puddles of paint with water and vinegar and sucked it up with the shop vac. over and over and over again. We spent about an hour doing this and wouldn't you know it? the paint was GONE. i swear. you would not know that i had spilled black paint all down the stairs.


When it was all cleaned up, Mat stood up and said "please don't ever do that again".


I still can't believe that it actually happened and that it's actually gone.


So, what have you been up to lately?

Friday, April 3, 2009

Awesome Giveaway!

Don't have much time to write as i'm just waiting to catch my flight from Dublin to London....

If you're looking to enter an awesome giveaway, check out Chris' blog at Just Beachy http://chriskauffman.blogspot.com/2009/04/give-away.html

Chris' blog has been on my blogroll for a little while now and i love reading it for home design inspiration.

Cheers!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

les randoms

Loves,

I'm still here, just away at a conference working my bum off for the last few weeks.

I have stuff to post, but don't have a lot of time right now.

In the mean time, here's my 25 Random things about me:

1. I was named after my mother
2. I share the same birthday as Mickey Mouse
3. I have been with my husband since I was sixteen
4. Which means that in 5 years I will have been with him for more than half my life
5. In elementary school I was called TBMU
6. Which stands for Training Bra Matching Underwear
7. I still have the same nail polish on my toes from my wedding 4 months ago
8. I used to want to be a paleontologist
9. Now I want to be a wedding planner or own a bridal gown shop
10. I used to believe my stuffed animals had feelings
11. I like chocolate and mint but not mixed together. Read: I hate mint chocolate-chip ice cream
12. I love ice cream
13. I love yogurt just as much
14. I was a brownie, a girl guide and a path finder
15. I hate running
16. But I love playing team sports
17. My biggest fear in life is that I won’t be blessed with children
18. I went on the Dr. Bernstein diet and lost 20 lbs in 7 weeks
19. I never felt hungrier in all my life
20. My grandfather was the Attorney General of Ontario
21. I have never broken any part of my body, but always wanted a cast
22. My husband makes fun of me because I’m always standing on my tip-toes
23. And because I talk and laugh in my sleep
24. I am obsessed with different coloured post-it notes
25. And making lists

This was a lot of fun - i would like to do another one soon :)

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Why do you read blogs?

I could never fully explain to someone when they asked me WHY i read blogs.

My explanation never came out right - non-bloggers never really understood.

One of the blogs i frequent wrote this post and it makes so much sense.

What do you think?

Thursday, January 22, 2009

anonymous

I love my blog, and the people i've met along the way.

Unfortunately, i have let too many people look into my world and now i have to be careful what i write because it comes back to haunt me.

I'm not abandoning this blog, and in fact i will probably post here more often than on my other (new) blog. But i find that when something is REALLY bothering me, the one place i want to spill my guts is here, and i can't do that.

If you want to read my new blog, let me know and i'll send you the link.

But if i know you personally i probably won't want you to have access - sorry, but for the most part i want to be annonymous.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Countryside Automotive in Baden / Kitchener, Ontario - Buyer Beware

I am writing this post because i feel like my power as a consumer has been taken away from me.

A few months ago, i wrote about the problems i encountered when i bought my new-used car.

I am writing this to inform others who are trying to gather some information on this company.

Here is the complaint i have filed with the BBB in it's entirety:

Countryside Automotive
Bob's home address (found on BBB website because mail was returned as undeliverable to work address):
153 Queen St P O Box 5114
Baden, ON N0B 1G0
519-634-5581

Bob's work address:
2951 Sandhills Rd. Box 5114
Baden , ON N3A 3B7
519 497-5644


Sunday November 2, 2008
* Test drove Escape. Vehicle ran smooth - no problems and was not misfiring
* Agreed to purchase - signed agreement and paid deposit by debit
* Agreed to pick up vehicle and pay balance one week later

Sunday November 9, 2008
* Picked up Escape
* Paid balance with certified cheque from bank
* Bob mentioned that the vehicle's check engine light was on but assured me that everything was fine
* As I drove the vehicle away, it started to misfire
* Called Bob immediately and returned vehicle
* Bob took vehicle away to his garage to work on it
* Bob retuned with vehicle and promised it was a "bad tank of gas" and said he put gas line antifreeze into it to dry up water. Bob promised the problem was fixed (said over and over it was just a "bad tank of gas").
* Bob promised problem was fixed and that if I encountered any problems he would "take care of you even if you're in Ottawa"
* Arrived in Oshawa (2hr drive) and vehicle was misfiring again (always at 2000 RPM)
* Called Bob and left several messages - no answer

Monday November 10, 2008
* Left vehicle in Oshawa and returned to Ottawa by other means as the Escape manual said that if the check engine light was flashing (which it was) that it could cause further damage if driven.
* My father, who lives in Oshawa, took the vehicle to a Ford Dealership. He was told by the Ford mechanic that a coil was cracked and that it was obvious that the coils had been sprayed with a drying agent to deter water from entering and prevent misfiring.
* Had vehicle repaired. Total cost was $380.57
* Called Bob again and got a hold of him
* Told him vehicle was left in Oshawa and was repaired @ Ford Dealership
* Bob said "no problem" and he will absolutely reimburse me for repairs and to please send him the bill.

Thursday November 13, 2008
* Emailed bill to Bob

Friday November 14, 2008
* Faxed bill to Bob

Friday December 5, 2008
* Cheque had not arrived
* Called Bob and left voicemail saying I hadn't received cheque and making sure he received the bill - no response

Monday December 8, 2008
* Cheque had not arrived.
* Called Bob and spoke to him - he said his wife was writing the cheque and would be sent shortly. Got cut off from phone call. Called back and got voicemail. Left Bob a message saying that if I didn't hear from him that I would assume he has everything he needs to proceed with sending the cheque and that I would expect the cheque by end of the week. No response from Bob.

Tuesday December 16, 2008
* Cheque had not arrived.
* Called Bob - Bob said cheque went out "today" and I should have it by Friday December 19.

Monday December 29, 2008
* Cheque had not arrived.
* Called Bob and left a voicemail. Said that I would wait until Monday January 12, 2009 for cheque and that I will not be trying to contact him from this point on. I said that if I did not receive the cheque by January 12 that I would pursue other means. Followed up with an email and attached delivery a receipt which confirmed delivery of email. Email reiterated same message as voicemail.

Monday January 12, 2009
* Cheque did not arrive.

Wednesday January 21, 2009
* Cheque has still not arrived


Consumer's Desired Resolution:
To be reimbursed for the $380.57 repairs that were done on the vehicle.


BUYER BEWARE of Countryside Automotive in Baden / Kitchener, Ontario.

Although there haven't been any other problems with the car, i have found other complaints / reviews on the internet about this company and Bob (owner/seller/president...)

Save yourself the stress and buy elsewhere.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Delurking Day :)


Hey!


It's Delurking Day, so if you're a lurker, i'd love me some comments :)


Friday, January 9, 2009

Final Sale

Last weekend Mat and i were at the Mall. We didn't have much of a reason to be there except to return a duplicate Christmas gift i had received.

As we were walking around "window shopping" a cute outdoor mat caught my eye. It was 50% off because it was quite "seasonal" although it wasn't exactly Christmas-y. It was of a sweet little bird on a branch with a few snowflakes floating around and "welcome" written at the top.

Since it had a 50% off sticker on it, i couldn't resist buying it for only $10!

As i made my way up to the cash, the cashier asked if that would be all (yes) and proceeded to tell me my total after tax.

I gave her my debit card, paid, and as the cashier was putting the receipt in my bag and handing the bag to me she said "Here you go, just to let you know, this is a final sale".

I gave her an are you kidding me? look and said "You should tell people that BEFORE they buy it".

She looked at me with a blank stare and didnt' say anything - i'm not sure she understood what the problem was.

I probably wouldn't have returned the mat anyway, but if i DID want to, do you think i would have been able to seeing as she didn't tell me it was final sale until after i bought it? Probably not seeing as she stamped the receipt with a red "final sale" stamp.

Some people are kinda dumb, aren't they?

Monday, January 5, 2009

What's in a name?

Several people have asked me even before I got married if I would or have changed my last name and why / why not.

I did change my last name, but I have to admit that the decision wasn’t an easy one for me and I’ve thought about it since the day I was engaged.

I LOVE my full maiden name. It represented me and who I am and where I’ve come from and kept me connected to my disconnected family. I was proud to have the name that I was given. Plus it flowed, and when I said my potential future full name, I didn’t get the same sense of flow. It didn’t sound like me. It sounded like someone different, someone I didn’t know. Plus I had an awesome signature - one that took a long time to perfect.

If you know me, you’ll know that I’m not the kind of person who does things just because they’ve “always been done this way”. For a woman to change her last name when she marries is very traditional, and that is not why I decided to change my name. In fact, because it is so traditional and probably still assumed by many people that the woman will change her name was one of the reasons I was contemplating not changing my name. I don’t like to do things “just because” or because I’m expected to do things.

So why did I decide to change my name you ask and not keep my maiden name or hyphenate my two names? There are several reasons and before I go on I would just like to say that these are my reasons and I'm not passing judgment on anyone who is married and didn’t change her name or decided to hyphenate her last names. In fact I honestly feel that each and every situation is so different and I know of some people who did change their last name and I personally feel for various reasons that they shouldn’t have, but I digress.

So why DID I change my last name?

The biggest and most important reason to me is that I have committed to spend the rest of my life with this person through thick and through thin, no matter what is thrown our way. I realize that there will be many, many times that it will incredibly difficult to stick it out, but I understand that the commitment I’ve made means that I will not give up, no matter what. I have committed to spend the rest of my life with Mat, and because of that, we are a team. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’ve never heard of a team with two different names. Have you? Have you ever heard of the Raptors-Celtics? Or the Senators-Leafs?

To me it’s like Go Big or Go Home. I’m not in this half-way, I’m in this ALL the way and the best way that I can show this to myself, Mat and the rest of the world is to have one team name with my partner.

Along the same lines of being in it all the way as opposed to being in it half-way is that when I was making my mental pros and cons list of why I should or shouldn’t change my name one of the pros for keeping my maiden name is that if I ever needed to revert back to my maiden name that it would be easier if I hyphenated or simply kept my maiden name. Almost as soon as the thought entered my mind, I realized that I HAD to change my last name. Again, I’m not in this thing with one foot in and one foot out. I’m in this with both my feet.

I know some women consider their careers when deciding whether or not they should change their name. I did consider if I would suddenly become “lost” in the professional world and have to work to rebuild my name, but I would say it’s only been the last year and half that I’ve started to be recognized as a “name” in my field. So far, it has been easy making people aware that I’ve changed my name and that I’m still the same person. In my email signature I have my maiden name in brackets followed by my married name with a little note immediately following asking people to “please note my new name!”. An announcement was also sent out in the local industry newsletter letting people know that I’m recently married and have changed my name. I realized that I have many, many years ahead of me with my married name and only a handful of years with my maiden name.

Another reason why I changed my last name is so that I could share the same last name with my children. This to me was less important than sharing the same last name as my husband, but it was just another “pro” on my list.

And finally, because I love my maiden name so much, I didn’t completely abandon it. And no, I didn’t keep it as a last name. I simply moved it to my middle name so now I have one first name THREE middle names and one last name. I know three middle names is a bit ridiculous, but hey, that’s me – a little bit ridiculous.